


Get through this togerther

by Cutiepie61212



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:09:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cutiepie61212/pseuds/Cutiepie61212
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story basted a bit off of a CMV I wrote a long time ago, its mainly a what if Levi's squad all dying affected him more than he let on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get through this togerther

**Author's Note:**

> This talks about cutting and a bit of an eating disorder so if you are not okay with it please don't continue. I do not go into extreme detail but it is talked about.

LEVI’s POV

How long has it been since it happened? Years, months, days even.  
All of them, there all gone. I thought I payed enough for my life….  
But now Petra, Petra you’re gone too now… my only family, gone..

The black room that was only lit with the outside light of the moon is as quiet as usual, too quiet.  
It must be early in the morning by now, every ones asleep but me, like normal I guess.  
I can’t help it though, why should I be allowed to sleep when they can’t even come home….  
It’s all my fault, my fault, all of it…

1…2….3……4….5? Days I’ve stayed up just sitting here,  
in the corner, were no one can see me break apart…..  
Wonder what Hange is going to say today,  
“I smell the alcohol on your breath” maybe,  
or “you need sleep to live you know”  
or maybe even my favourite “I see your cuts”.  
She doesn’t understand, how else am I going to feel something other than sadness?  
How else do I pay for what I caused them? Death is too easy, even if I do get brutally killed…..

When I found that it was time to get up I went to the bathroom,  
to add an additional 3 cuts to the ones from yesterday, and the day before that, and so on.  
Each cut was for one of them. Halfway through it however,  
there was a knock on my door which was followed by a brief “I’m coming in Levi”.  
It was normal for the brat to bring me tea but he was early this time.  
Did he do it on purpose?  
Did Hange talk to him about that when she called him over yesterday?

Eren came in and closed the door behind himself,  
kind of like he was trying to keep me locked here,  
like he wanted to talk,  
fuck an intervention from him is the last thing I need right now.  
It took a moment for me to register that I was topless in my bathroom  
and my uniform was laid out on my perfectly made bed that I haven’t slept in since the incident happened.  
The kid was clever I’ll give him that much,  
he memorized my schedule and caught me off guard at a time I was most venerable. 

Well it worked he got me to leave the bathroom with bandages tightly wrapped around my arm to stop the bleeding.  
But there was something different about the space I walked into,  
the depressingly dark and quiet room was illuminated with outside light,  
the windows were now wide open  
and the colour of the curtains seemed to have changed from gray-ish white to a beautiful shade of white with now a visible flower pattern stitched into it.  
There was also an added decoration of red, pink and white roses which made the room smell absolutely amazing.  
But that’s not the best part of the room,  
the best was Eren,  
just standing there with his bright green eyes and his perfectly put on uniform with the last white rose in hand just about to place it when he turned to see me in the doorway staring in awe at the sight.

 

“I thought you would like a bit of colour to brighten up this place”

“It’s nice of you kid, thanks” 

 

I couldn’t tell if he was ignoring the fact that my arm was all bandaged up or if he didn’t know what to say,  
ether way it was a lot more comforting that he was not freaking out.  
He stayed and talked for a bit but left when I finished my tea.  
Not once did he bring it up,  
maybe he honestly didn’t care that I was doing such a pitiful thing to myself.  
It’s okay if he doesn’t,  
it just means one less person won’t cry when I die.  
Which is beneficial considering the situation. 

My uniform was a bit wrinkled but I couldn’t think about that now,  
there was no time to fix it. I had a meeting with Erwin,  
Hange and a couple of dicks with power.  
I slipped on my uniform, tightened my belts and put on my boots.  
As an extra I grabbed my jacket with the wing emblems on it,  
they always were so delightful to see on someone’s back, like Petra’s.

I left my room with the plan to skip breakfast again and just get a coffee at the meeting.  
It seemed like the only thing I could do that wouldn’t get noticed because I didn’t eat with anyone.  
And it’s not like I was doing it for attention or to get skinnier,  
it was just another type of punishment I gave to myself.

When I got to the meeting I slipped on my jacket to make it less obvious that my arm was bandaged.  
The second I put it on I felt something in the breast pocket of it.  
I reached into the pocket to see that it was a note that read  
“I know that I am probably the last person you want to talk to but I have something to show you,  
meet me at the top of the castle when you’re done with your meeting”  
from Eren, I guessed it was him before reading the sincerely part of it  
but what surprised me was the P.S. at the end that confessed that the jacket I had on was his.  
The thought of wearing his jacked made me feel something that I haven’t felt in a long time,  
the feeling that I was falling in love. Just the thought scared me,  
what would he ever see in me anyways?  
I’m too broken to be put back together, and even if someone could help,  
they would probably get depressed just by trying.

 

The meeting went as slow as all of the others I’ve attended,  
10 minutes into it I stopped listening to them all talking and just stared out the window into the sunny field of trees and grass thinking about Eren.  
After some time had passed I came to the theory that I was only here as an extra,  
so it wouldn’t matter if I just left.  
After I came to that conclusion I got the great idea to just leave the room,  
but the way I did it was maybe a bit too much though. I got up, walked to the window,  
opened it and hopped out into the grass.  
When I realised exactly what I was doing and snapped back into “reality”  
I heard all of the dicks in the room yelling at me and asking if I was off of my meds and a bunch more bullshit that they thought of. 

 

I went back into the building ignoring all of the dumb questions people were asking me.  
My goal was to get to get to him. I want to hear him out before turning him down. Before I backed away from him,  
like how I backed away from Hange and Erwin. I walled up the gray stairs to the door that opened to the roof.  
I opened it to be blinded by the sun for a few seconds but when I could see again, he was sitting at the edge with his legs hanging off.  
The sound of the door made him turn and flash a smile when he noticed it was me. He then gestured for me to come and site next to him,  
I followed his gesture and sat next to him.

 

“Before I tell you the reason for me asking you to come here, I have a question”

“Sure go ahead brat”  
I was hard for me to answer him because I didn’t want him to ask, I just wanted him to be there.

 

“Do you thing they would want you to do this to yourself?”

“No they wouldn’t, but their families would… and I deserve this, it’s all my fault”  
it was the hardest thing to keep a straight face when talking.  
His whole vibe made me feel sad but he looked just fine, hell he was smiling but I know better than to just assume things especially feelings. 

 

“What did you have to show me?”  
Eren turned his head to look away from me.

“Do you blame me for their deaths?”  
He turned back to me with tears in his eyes.

“No I don’t, you made a choice, no regrets, that’s the code we live by”  
He turned body to me holding his wrist, the whole thing was covered in healing cuts.

“Then I guess, that we just have to come to terms with what happened, like you said, a choice with no regrets”  
His words, his proving I’m not alone. It overwhelmed me, I couldn’t help it I grabbed him and kissed him.  
When I pulled away I looked at his bright green eyes,  
“We’ll get through this Eren, I promise”

**Author's Note:**

> The original CMV I wrote was based off of a song named I found by Amber Run, this story is a happier take on the sad ending of the CMV, the song that gave me the most inspiration in writing it like this was Fine Fine by Jade Hark on YouTube, These are both amazing songs and if you ge the chance you should listen to them.


End file.
